“There is great safety in exploring issues related to religious trauma with others who have shared similar experiences with the moderation and direction of an experienced professional. Marlene is skilled, intuitive and informed. She has a gentle but firm way of guiding a person through the healing steps and skill building needed for coping with the negative aspects of religious upbringing.”
“The best part of being in the group was I felt like I had people who were ready at a moments notice to listen, understand, and support me. I also felt empowered by the fact that I could be an encouragement to them, and it felt really good to find ways to respond to others in the group.”
I found the retreats enormously helpful, with a wonderful group of warm people who had been through much of what I had been through. Marlene is a uniquely gifted leader who understands like so few do what it’s like to be in the middle of the all-encompassing religious life many of us former “born agains” lived in. I HIGHLY recommend attending…you will not regret it.
Dr. Winell was helpful, full of insights and exercises that promoted growth for me. She knows how to sit in a physical and mental and emotional space with someone who is strung out and scared and hurting and be able to walk them closer to a position of strength to where they can begin to take care of themselves, going forward. I attribute a lot of the growth I have been able to do unhooking myself from my fundamentalist background to Marlene’s competence and helpfulness.
Unlike regular secular psychologists, Dr. Winell was not tone-deaf as per what a religiously socialized person will be like in terms of their fears, doubts, tendencies toward considering suicide, and so on. She was supportive in being able to offer both understanding and respect. There is no way a regular secular psychologist could help anyone wishing to unhook from a fundamentalist upbringing the way she, a person of the same background, can. She provides this help with humor and inventiveness and it does work.
Dr. Winell was not anti-spirituality or anti-god. As I progressed under her tutelage and went through a phase of being super-angry (which I guess in some ways I still am) about having been duped by fundamentalist Christianity, I sometimes found myself wishing she *would* take anti-God stances and/or make fun of Christianity since that might have felt satisfying. I guess I can remember some activities that did use gentle humor to satirize religious proselytizing. But for me at least, this gently humorous treatment of proselytizing was one of the most healing activities at the retreats. And for me to say this–me, a person raised in a household that was all about **fear**–that is really saying something. Something very positive about Marlene and the retreats she designs.
It has been almost a year since I first fell apart emotionally. It is staggering to see how much growth I’ve experienced in that amount of time. I went from feeling my life was over to feeling that my life has just begun. I went from trying to shut out the world to wanting to welcome it back in. I have learned how to accept and listen to my feelings, both positive and negative, and to express them. I have learned to grieve what I have lost and to start dreaming again for the future. I still struggle at times, and I feel like I will always be on a path towards recovery. The difference now is that I have tools to deal with such episodes, and I am able to respond in much more effective and mature ways.
I started meeting with Dr. Winell several years after I had made the decision to walk away from Christianity and the Church. From a rational perspective, I was content with my choice and knew that I had made the right decision for me. However, I found myself continually plagued with doubt and somehow still under the spell of the negative thought processes that had been ingrained in me through my evangelical upbringing. The ideas of original sin and my unworthiness were still anchored strongly and deeply inside me. I knew that ideas that I didn’t actually believe were having a detrimental impact on me, but I didn’t know how to stop the control they still seemed to wield over me. So, that’s when I got in contact with Dr. Winell.
Right off the bat, I found her incredibly easy to talk to. It was like speaking with a kindred spirit. She understood where I was coming from; she had had many of the same experiences, and was able to teach me helpful techniques to begin to loosen the control these negative ideas had on me. She helped me learn compassion for myself, but also helped me find the strength to hold myself accountable to be the strong, independent woman I am. While Dr. Winell is certainly a wonderful listener, she did more than just listen. She gave me tools to start the transformation toward freeing myself from the negative thought processes that had plagued me for so long. She helped me learn to see things differently. I learned to laugh at things that used to cause me severe anger and frustration.
And, most importantly, I learned to recognize the insidious ideas that run through my mind that aren’t actually my thoughts about myself, but rather are the negative themes I was taught from a very young age. That recognition has allowed me to separate and free myself from those ideas. Those kinds of ideas still run through my mind periodically, but I now have the tools to recognize them for what they are and no longer identify with them.
I can honestly say that after spending time meeting with Dr. Winell, I have significantly more peace and have much less guilt and heaviness in my life. If you are afraid of leaving your faith or find yourself unable to break free completely the way I was, please do yourself a favor and talk to Dr. Winell. You will find she will be the ally you’ve been hoping for. The great news is there’s a big exciting world outside of the Church and she’s someone who can help you start, or continue, on your journey towards exploring it and enjoying it. Having someone in your court who knows what you’re going through, who’s been there, and who has tools to help you find peace and freedom makes the journey much more approachable and even fun!
Marlene is skilled, intuitive, and informed. She has a gentle but firm way of guiding a person through the healing steps and skill-building needed for coping with the negative aspects of religious upbringing.
Marlene has such a loving presence and approach. She is so wise, insightful, and fun.
Working with Marlene has been a wonderful experience in many ways. Her experience and background offer a huge wealth of information and resources for those coming out of religion. She is also someone with a huge amount of compassion and sensitivity.
“It is priceless to be able to have people understand exactly what I’m going through, and many times they have dealt with the same situation themselves. I feel like I have a base of friends that I know I can go to with any struggle I am having. I know they will be there for me and help me out. It’s a great feeling. It’s important to know others are there at some of the lowest points in my life. It also helps me to help them out, too. I am forced to think about other issues that are brought up, and it feels good to be there for someone else.”