I started meeting with Dr. Winell several years after I had made the decision to walk away from Christianity and the Church. From a rational perspective, I was content with my choice and knew that I had made the right decision for me. However, I found myself continually plagued with doubt and somehow still under the spell of the negative thought processes that had been ingrained in me through my evangelical upbringing. The ideas of original sin and my unworthiness were still anchored strongly and deeply inside me. I knew that ideas that I didn’t actually believe were having a detrimental impact on me, but I didn’t know how to stop the control they still seemed to wield over me. So, that’s when I got in contact with Dr. Winell.
Right off the bat, I found her incredibly easy to talk to. It was like speaking with a kindred spirit. She understood where I was coming from; she had had many of the same experiences, and was able to teach me helpful techniques to begin to loosen the control these negative ideas had on me. She helped me learn compassion for myself, but also helped me find the strength to hold myself accountable to be the strong, independent woman I am. While Dr. Winell is certainly a wonderful listener, she did more than just listen. She gave me tools to start the transformation toward freeing myself from the negative thought processes that had plagued me for so long. She helped me learn to see things differently. I learned to laugh at things that used to cause me severe anger and frustration.
And, most importantly, I learned to recognize the insidious ideas that run through my mind that aren’t actually my thoughts about myself, but rather are the negative themes I was taught from a very young age. That recognition has allowed me to separate and free myself from those ideas. Those kinds of ideas still run through my mind periodically, but I now have the tools to recognize them for what they are and no longer identify with them.
I can honestly say that after spending time meeting with Dr. Winell, I have significantly more peace and have much less guilt and heaviness in my life. If you are afraid of leaving your faith or find yourself unable to break free completely the way I was, please do yourself a favor and talk to Dr. Winell. You will find she will be the ally you’ve been hoping for. The great news is there’s a big exciting world outside of the Church and she’s someone who can help you start, or continue, on your journey towards exploring it and enjoying it. Having someone in your court who knows what you’re going through, who’s been there, and who has tools to help you find peace and freedom makes the journey much more approachable and even fun!
Highly recommended for seminary and public libraries.
It has been almost a year since I first fell apart emotionally. It is staggering to see how much growth I’ve experienced in that amount of time. I went from feeling my life was over to feeling that my life has just begun. I went from trying to shut out the world to wanting to welcome it back in. I have learned how to accept and listen to my feelings, both positive and negative, and to express them. I have learned to grieve what I have lost and to start dreaming again for the future. I still struggle at times, and I feel like I will always be on a path towards recovery. The difference now is that I have tools to deal with such episodes, and I am able to respond in much more effective and mature ways.
I have known Marlene for a number of years primarily through her consulting work with recovering fundamentalists, including her book, Leaving the Fold. I have been impressed with Marlene’s openness, her genuine warmth, and compassion as well as her knowledge of the complicated issues involved with outgrowing a belief system.
In a world where dogma and religious doctrine have replaced reason and free thought, many people have been victimized. As victims, people need support and guidance – Leaving the Fold provides both. Reflecting on her own experiences, the author presents her book in a thoughtful and readable fashion. For people who have recovered, want to recover, or want to know what others have gone through, Leaving the Fold is a must read.
There is a set of questions, responses, instruments for self-examination, pep-talks and therapeutic injunctions that may well help many.
We love it! . . . Freedom From Religion Foundation is planning to carry your book. You have a firm grasp of the problems and needs of those who are breaking away from the fundamentalist mindset. I wish I had had your book 15 years ago!